Posts tagged self empowerment
I was duped.
I thought that after many years, an issue had been resolved. Finally, once and for all, not to be an issue again.
You see, I was told from a very young age that if you could not add to something through monetary means, you needed to work your hardest, do your best and show whoever was “in charge” of you, that you were of value – hard-working, never backing down from a challenge, getting the job done. My family instilled this in me, and I always believed it to be true. It had served me well all my life; I was always considered to be a great worker and as my experience grew, one with leadership qualities and a fine work ethic.
When that mixes with a supervisor/boss who is a narcissist; one who has a truly fragile ego and must be the star of the show, you will have a toxic workplace. Nervously being at work every day – never knowing when you would be called to the “principal’s office” to be chastised and for what. The smallest incidents would blow up without warning, resulting in mayhem when it was least needed. In fact, I have been in this position several times throughout my careers.
When I say that I thought the issue has been resolved, I meant my internal issues. I was raised to be respectful. Yes, I am sarcastic with my humor, when I am comfortable with someone, I will share many laughs and comments, but I never want to be disrespectful – any one of my relatives would have eagerly given me a swift kick in the pants if I behaved badly. But my issue is truly wrapped around the respect I have for myself.
When I say I was duped, I did it to myself. My younger self did not possess respect for me to allow getting out of that situation quickly. Somehow, I continued to put myself in similar situations – a narcissistic boss who cannot handle someone who does what they say they have come to do, working well with people, and getting the job done. I finally realize that I need to respect the value I bring to the table, stand my ground and stop being disrespectful to myself.
And in that respect for me, I will not make apologies to the way I have worked, nor how easily I work anyone else, and the results achieved. Whether it is a 97% passing rate amongst my students on a final exam or completion of a business plan to help a startup, teaching business foundations to my balloon decorating competitors or becoming a published author, I will not allow someone to diminish me and everything I can do.
The old saying of “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me” is to be considered at its face value – it will not happen again. For that, you can be sure!
So I was wondering exactly what the rest of the world thinks about thanking other people. I “Googled” it to see just how important this issue might be. I have to see, I was somewhat underwhelmed at what I found. With important days like Administrative Profesionals Day, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day looming on the horizon, most of us will stop and think about those people in our lives that we are thankful for.
But what about the simplicity of thanking someone during your day-to-day routine?
A typical day for me runs something like this (and no, I’m not just saying it for the sake of this article, this is what I do.)
Leave my apartment, downstairs neighbor is leaving at the same time, holds the door open for me and my dog – THANK YOU!
Get outside, struggle by the car with all my bags… Next door neighbor comes over to help – THANK YOU!
Go to pull out of my parking spot, car stops to let me go before them – a wave through the window and – THANK YOU!
Get to work, staff helps with opening store – THANK YOU!
Almost every task is acknowledged with a THANK YOU – every delivery made gets a THANK YOU via text. When any staff member leaves for the day, a THANK YOU for whatever it is they did during the course of the day.
Between all the back and forth, whether it is me saying it or anyone around me, there’s an awful lot of “Thanking” going on. But do we mean it?
Little things, simple words, small actions sometimes speak louder than grand laudations. Some people feel that if there isn’t an audience watching, its not important to be nice and helpful to others. Thank you’s do not cost anything but the time and effort it takes to say the two words. Yet, truly understand how important and the impact those two little words can be to someone who is having a bad day or hour or minute. Put yourself back into a place where “difficult” may have been the easiest way to describe your day and realize how, if someone had just taken a few second out of their day to say “thank you” while you held the door for them – it could have changed your whole outlook.
Be that for someone – be that “ray of sunshine” on a day – good or bad and you may be surprised how your day goes from “so-so” to a ‘great” one!
What do you think? How do you perceive people “Thanking” you?
Better still, how do you think YOU are perceived when you thank others??