A Vivid Imagination
… They always told me I had one!!!
Happy Mother’s Day… from six feet away!!!
5 years
!
Mother’s Day usually led to a conversation I had with my mom almost every year. The language of adoption. Some famous person who had adopted a child would pass away and the reporter would usually state something like “Her children, John and Mary and her adopted son, Fred” and my mom and I would be unnerved that there would be a differentiation made.
In 1965, a young woman, no more than 19 years old, gave birth to me. I do not know the circumstances surrounding her decision to give me up for adoption but that was to be part of my story. Adoption and acceptance have always been important to me. My parents always told me I was special and I knew from the very beginning that I was adopted.
But that is where it stayed. It was part of my story that differentiated me from friends, classmates and even cousins. A closed adoption made final in 1967, my parents were Mary and Ernie Parmel – my parents. No “adoptive” – I was not referred to as “adopted”. And to the days after my parents both left this earth, I was their daughter.
Laws may change, new information may be garnered, even sealed records can be opened. That doesn’t change the fact that my mom raised me to be the person I am today – as her own. A friend who was also adopted once said to me that we didn’t grow under their heart but in it.
One thing I know for sure, my mom (and dad too!) is up there watching out for me, shaking her head at the crazy things I get myself involved in, wringing her hands with the things I do that she would have told me not to. On Mother’s Day, I realize that she was right 99.9% of the time, she worried about me more than she needed to, and I know that “paper is thicker than blood”, a phrase we laughed at.
And one more thing on this Mother’s Day…
Mostly all the people in my life, over all these years have told me that today we celebrate women who are mothers, who wish to be mothers, women who have lost children, who have chosen not to have children and those who did not have the gift of their own children in their lives. Faces, names, known or unknown, women that have given up a gift of a child, conceived in any circumstance should also be celebrated for their ultimate sacrifice – so that someone may have a better life – the child and the family they are given to. I thank the woman who gave me life – I hope that one day, I can thank her in person.
But I have come across a few people that believe that if you do not have children or if you are not their mother, they shouldn’t wish you a Happy Mother’s Day; those people choosing to walk past someone while acknowledging another just steps ahead or behind them. Just stop and think sometimes if you are guilty of marginalizing someone like that – you don’t know how deep the hurt you cause can go. May those who do that never find themselves in the same position – or maybe it would give them pause for thought. After all, some of the deepest hurts are caused by three little words not being said. It is always three little words, right?
Happy Mother’s Day to everyone!
And I mean EVERYONE!!
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The Unlimited Mother’s Day
6 years
“Women who have mothered, guided, supported, and loved people that they didn’t give birth to (and yes, pets are absolutely included in that). Having a family isn’t a right; it’s a privilege. Sometimes sharing DNA with someone makes you family, and sometimes it doesn’t. It’s about how you treat people. You can have a mother figure in your life, a best friend that’s more like a sister, or a boss who’s mentored you from day one, and that woman is just as important (and for some, more so) as the one who did or didn’t raise you.”
The quote above was from an online article entitled “Why You Should Celebrate All Women on Mother’s Day” by Jenna Whitecar. This article caught my attention for many reasons.
The debate rages on about Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and surely, other holidays. I have heard how Hallmark created holidays which led all us Americans to celebrate “fake holidays” – fine that they were “inspired”, I will not call them “fake”.
I was raised to respect everyone and understand their positions in life. Some people become parents, by nature or by choice; some people lead lives single, some marry; some are loners while some long for a familial embrace. I have led a life filled with the embrace of many family members and I have watched as family numbers have dwindled. I have seen the same things happen with extended family. And although I am admittedly not the best person when it comes to holidays, birthdays, card-sending and all, I do believe that when it comes to holidays, well wishes for the day should be unlimited.
For those of you that don’t know my background, I was adopted. The woman who I called my mother, Mary Parmel, did not give birth to me. But she and my father saved my life at the ripe old age of five months. No, I am not implying that the circumstances surrounding my birth were dire – I am simply stating that the two people who went through years of meetings, interviews, home checks and more, provided for me a life I would not change. My parents gave me home, shelter, love and family; they gave me the gift of knowing that extended family comes in all forms – all my parents’ childhood friends from Queensbridge Projects became my Aunts and Uncles – and are to this day, alive or passed, all due the respect for their lives, stories and place in my life.
To know that some people place limits on relationships truly resonates with me on Mother’s Day especially. My mother was famous for her “expectations” – she could be quite critical when those expectations were not met by anyone she thought should – and she would let you know that as well. But the one thing she made sure I knew UNEQUIVOCABLY was this – respect was paramount.
To this day, I still address all my Aunts and Uncles by their titles and names. It is something that I feel shows respect and honors what my father and mother taught me – it may be an old way of thinking, but respect is tantamount to fostering those special relationships.
On a day like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, the debate rages on whether or not you should wish someone who does not have children, well wishes for the day.
“Women who have mothered, guided, supported, and loved people that they didn’t give birth to (and yes, pets are absolutely included in that).” I have taught hundreds of students (some who have liked me, some who have hated me and some who still call me “Miss Parmel”); I have employed over 65 people who have called me by “Jane” (and probably a few other names I cannot publish in an otherwise ‘G-rated’ blog post), who call me to this day, asking for guidance, answers and support for themselves and their new ventures; and I even had a puppy who showed that I can actually take care of a living creature!
“Having a family isn’t a right; it’s a privilege.”
My mother and father believed this whole-heartedly; the rest of their families did as well, creating their families through adoption many times over.
“You can have a mother figure in your life, a best friend that’s more like a sister, or a boss who’s mentored you from day one, and that woman is just as important (and for some, more so) as the one who did or didn’t raise you.”
Marie, Marie-Ange, Liz, Rae, Janet, Lucille, Margie, Suzy, Peggy, Aunt Mary D., Auntie Lil, Barbara, Theresa, Pina, Lella, Elina, Susan; Aunt Flo, Aunt Marie, Marvy, Carmen. Just some of the names that have filled “family” over the last half-century.
So debate if you want, ignore the nurturing, ignore the value of community, negate another’s journey. It’s entirely up to you. Acknowledging what position someone has had in your life and the place you hold them in your hearts should never be up for debate. Wish them a happy whatever the day is.
“Sometimes sharing DNA with someone makes you family, and sometimes it doesn’t. It’s about how you treat people.”
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She can play… And lead too!
7 years
Women’s Sports Foundation Honors National Girls & Women in Sports Day by Bringing Champion Athletes and Advocates to the Nation’s Capital
Elana Meyers Taylor, Jessica Long and Phaidra Knight among Athletes and Advocates Recognizing 33rd Annual National Girls & Women in Sports Day
WASHINGTON, D.C. (Feb. 6, 2019) – A group of champion athletes and activists, led by the Women’s Sports Foundation, arrive on Capitol Hill today to celebrate the 33rd annual National Girls & Women in Sports Day (NGWSD), a national observance celebrating the extraordinary achievements of girls and women in sports.
The 2019 NGWSD theme, Lead Her Forward, will honor the many ways that sports push girls and women to achieve excellence and realize their boundless potential. “This year, we are celebrating all the ways girls and women everywhere are leading us forward and into a brighter future,” shared Women’s Sports Foundation CEO Deborah Antoine. “NGWSD is a great time to uplift these girls and women, along with the advocates using their platforms to inspire greatness in female athletes. We are also more committed than ever to protect Title IX, along with strong policies and safeguards for women in sports and all industries.”
Today, Women’s Sports Foundation will visit Capitol Hill for a series of meetings focused on Title IX and Senate bill S.132 that would establish a commission on the state of the Olympic and Paralympic movement in the U.S. Women’s Sports Foundation representatives, athletes and partners will discuss how to work with the government to improve the experience of Team USA athletes. They will also highlight the importance of keeping Title IX strong, and the importance of creating and sustaining sports opportunities for girls and women.
Yesterday, the Foundation hosted two events in the community, starting with a girls’ sports clinic at George Washington University (GW). Women’s Sports Foundation’s champion athletes Elana Meyers Taylor, Jessica Long, Meghan Duggan, Benita Fitzgerald Mosley, Phaidra Knight, Alana Nichols and Sasha DiGiulian teamed up with GW student-athletes to lead elementary, middle and high school girls from the D.C. area in a multi-sport clinic, with a focus on health and wellness, and science, technology, engineering and mathematics (STEM). Following the clinic, Women’s Sports Foundation President and GW alumnus Elana Meyers Taylor led an intimate discussion for students on Title IX and shared her thoughts on post-graduate athletic and leadership opportunities.
“Access to sports and all the benefits they provide is critical for girls and women. Sports teach girls leadership, teamwork and confidence,” shared Elana Meyers Taylor, Women’s Sports Foundation President and three-time Olympic medalist in bobsled. “National Girls & Women in Sports Day is a great time to reconnect with the girls and women we serve and call for a national push to support girls and women in sports.”
The Women’s Sports Foundation will be joined by NGWSD signature partners National Women’s Law Center, George Washington University, Girls Inc. and the President’s Council of Sports, Fitness and Nutrition, in promoting the Day through grassroots events. Across the country, sports educators, coaches, athletic departments, recreation centers, community organizations, students and parents will come together to host hundreds of local events in all 50 states and the District of Columbia to celebrate.
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About National Girls & Women in Sports Day
National Girls & Women in Sports Day (NGWSD) began in 1987 as a special day in our nation’s capital to recognize women’s sports. The day united premiere organizations and elite female athletes to bring national attention to the promise of girls and women in sports. In 1987, NGWSD also served as a remembrance of Olympic volleyball player Flo Hyman for her athletic achievements and dedication to promoting equality for women’s sports; Hyman died of Marfan’s Syndrome in 1986. NGWSD has since evolved into an event to acknowledge the accomplishments of female athletes, the positive influence of sports participation and the continuing struggle for equality for women in sports.
NGWSD is powered by the Women’s Sports Foundation, supported by its team of champion athletes and celebrated throughout the year by schools and community-serving organizations across all 50 states. Visit the official website www.NGWSD.org for more information, and follow the hashtags #NGWSD and #LeadHerForward on social media.
About The Women’s Sports Foundation
The Women’s Sports Foundation is a powerful voice, catalyst and convener dedicated to ensuring all girls have equal access to sports and physical activity and the tremendous lifelong benefits they provide. Founded by Billie Jean King in 1974, we seek to strengthen and expand opportunities for all girls and women to participate in all sports at all levels through research, advocacy, community impact and a wide variety of collaborative partnerships. The Women’s Sports Foundation has relationships with more than 1,000 of the world’s elite female athletes and has positively shaped the lives of more than 3 million youth, high school and collegiate student-athletes. To learn more about the Women’s Sports Foundation, please visit www.WomensSportsFoundation.org.
Media contacts:
Sherice Perry
Spitfire Strategies
202.448.0213
Sherice@SpitfireStrategies.com
About National Girls & Women in Sports Day (NGWSD)
National Girls & Women in Sports Day (NGWSD) began in 1987 as a special day in our nation’s capital to recognize women’s sports. The day united premiere organizations and elite female athletes to bring national attention to the promise of girls and women in sports. In 1987, NGWSD also served as a remembrance of Olympic volleyball player, Flo Hyman, for her athletic achievements and dedication to promoting equality for women’s sports; Hyman died of Marfan’s Syndrome in 1986. NGWSD has since evolved into an event to acknowledge the accomplishments of female athletes, the positive influence of sports participation and the continuing struggle for equality for women in sports.
National Girls & Women in Sports Day is celebrated annually across all 50 states with community-based events, award ceremonies and other celebratory activities. NGWSD is organized by the members of the National Girls & Women in Sports Day Coalition. Champion women athletes have also contributed to annual NGWSD activities. For more information, please visit: www.NGWSD.org.
About the National Girls and Women in Sports Day Coalition
The National Girls & Women in Sports Day Coalition is comprised of premiere organizations in the United States including the Women’s Sports Foundation, National Women’s Law Center, President’s Council on Fitness, Sports & Nutrition, Office of Women’s Health and Girls Inc.
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“Kung Hei Fat Choi!”
7 years
According to the Chinese horoscope 2019, the animal of Chinese New Year 2019 is the Earth Pig. During the Year of the Pig, everything the Pig wants to undertake or strengthen is successful. Luck and succeed in most areas greatly contribute to the Pig’s self -esteem.
With the Year of the Pig, the 12-year cycle of the animals of Chinese astrology ends. This is the perfect time to carry out an in-depth review of the past years and build energy reserves that are needed before the new cycle starts in 2020. The Pig is shining – friends come naturally and in number, attracted by his beneficent and lucky aura.
The money and career horoscope for the Pig provides for him new associations or contracts that can be at the source of a professional stability of an incomparable level to what he has had to live in previous years. The hesitations and uncertainties of past periods as well as investment problems are no longer on the agenda; pursuing professional training can become a real springboard for his career. It is also crucial for any Pig who does not wish to lose his achievements, to impose limits on himself.
Now is a great time to take stock of what has worked for you in your role as owner, manager or entrepreneur. Review of what works and what does not is one of the focuses of our services for you. We can go through in-place systems, review, analyze and restructure them to provide better work-flows, greater accountability and better worker communication and satisfaction, resulting in a higher bottom line for you.
Lighthouse Creative Management works with you to grow your audience, improve workflow and accountability and increase your profits – in time and money! Visit our “Business Coaching” page to see the options we offer.
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Safe Harbor…
7 years
In 2017, I lost my mom. The person who gave me the most encouragement, the person who drove me crazy without even trying, the one who I could debate, discuss and debrief with at any time of the day; in an instant, she was gone.
A friend of mine attended the funeral service, as she had for my dad ten years earlier. Seeing her at the back of the church that day, I was a bit surprised as she had attended the wake the night before – I know how busy she always is so to come again the next day, I was surprised.
A few weeks after that, I received a call from my friend. She was curious about how I was doing, what I was up to and if I needed anything. She also asked me if I would be interested in helping her with projects at the workplace. It was something I was always interested in and she knew that I brought a special set of skills to the projects I ran – it was something she wanted to incorporate with her team.
And so began the first steps for a new company, what would become Lighthouse Creative Management. The lighthouse is a special symbol, connecting me back to my grandmother’s roots – the lighthouse at Europa Point at the southern tip on the Rock of Gibraltar. A symbol of hope and strength, the lighthouse stands to remind sailors that even in the worst of storms, the lighthouse provides a safe harbor; a place where you can dock, refresh and reset, figuring out what is needed to go back out and sail on to their purpose.
Lighthouse Creative Management is poised to make a difference, an impact and be a light to guide coaches, entrepreneurs and professionals to higher levels for their businesses, their missions and themselves.
To find out more about what Lighthouse Creative Management can do, please visit our site www.lighthousecreativemanagement.com
